Being a student again SUCKS. I had this elaborate vision of walking around campus in my chucks and faux-Buddy Holly glasses, carrying my North Face bag and pumping indie tunes through my headphones. I was gonna strut through the student union, lookin' all fly and shit, while girls swooned and boys got jealous. And every once in awhile, I supposed I'd stop in for a lecture and learn some big words I could use to impress people.
Well. There's nothing cute about trying to get to class by 8 a.m. And I'm going to a community college... the student union is tiny and ugly and empty, and it's nowhere near the science building. "Impressive" isn't the adjective I'd use to describe myself mumbling anatomical terms and chemical formulas to myself like a schizophrenic. But I've got the chucks and Buddy Holly glasses down. And there are some cute girls in my glass who find me intriguing at the very least. I'm over the whole studying and doing homework all the time thing, though. I have sooooo many more classes to take. Ugh.
Ok, I'm done complaining. I finally started my job at the hospital, and I freaking LOVE it! You guys, my patients adore me. Seriously. And the real nurses actually depend on me for shit. I've never felt so useful in my life. I rush around taking vitals, refilling water pitchers, testing blood sugars, rolling patients around in their beds to clean poop off of them, emptying catheter bags, getting coughed and spit and puked on, running errands, calming families down... for 12 hours. And I swear to you, I have a grin on my face the whole damn time. Despite being broke and flinging myself into the throes of debt, I will never regret leaving accounting. NEVER! When I think about my old job, this really dramatic voice (in my head) screams "GIVE ME FREEDOM OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!"
So anyway. That's what I've been up to.
I think my next post will be about dancing and dating.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Gracie-isms
I’d been keeping a list of Gracie quotes awhile ago… I opened it up for a study break and thought I’d just go ahead and publish it for the enjoyment of my relatives who read the blog. If you haven’t met Gracie, you’ve missed out. She’s 5 years old, bossy, hyper, and hilarious. Enjoy!
Natali, is it true that deals are made to be broken?
-Fruit Loops. Hmm. Marissa, would you still eat this cereal if it was just called “fruit”?
-Uh, yeah.
-What if it was called “fruits and vegetables”?
-I don’t want to go to gymnastics tonight.
-Why not? You love to jump and do flips! You’ll get to jump on the trampoline!
-Yeah, but when I got to class I have to do what the teacher says. And that’s not fun for anyone.
Twenty-five?!?!?!? Natali, you were born before EVERYBODY!!!!!
I’m not up to nothin’, ha. Wearing my pink and white cowboy boots, ha. Welp. I’m going downstairs.
I do not like Justin Beiber. He sings like a little girl and he is NOT GOOD.
What if I farted that loud? It would be louder than the whole world! Maybe even louder than DAD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It would be so gross if I farted like a manly man!
Stated matter-of-factly after I explained that we call sponges because they are modeled after sea sponges and function the same way, and people (like her) who notice and remember everything that happens around them are sponges because they “soak up” everything: I want to be a sponge. A sponge named Squarepants.
-Natali, will you go upstairs and get my water?
-No, you can go get it.
-Puh-lease?! I’m pretty much so thirsty I’m gonna pass out!
-Then Cloee said, “we have a passed out one” or something! Hahahahaha!
-No. I said, “man down”.
Natali, why do you always wear those shirts with buttons on them? I like my shirts better because they’re pretty much just easier to put on.
Have you ever seen me drink with my left hand? That would be really hard and pretty cool. Watch, I’m gonna try it!
Um, we might have to tell daddy when he gets home that my light burned out, because I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who knows how to change it. Ugh, I’m so mad at my light. And I don’t even know if we have any more light bulbs.
We already counted backwards like 100 times, don’t they know how to do it by now?! Oh my gosh, Mickey and Goofy are so stupid! I’m not helping them do it again.
Natali, you kinda look like a boy, but you’re the best sister anyone could ever have! Don’t tell Megan I said that, though… the other day I told her she’s the best.
-I did cartwheels the whole time!
-That sounds fun. I’ve never been able to do a cartwheel.
-What?! Not even when you were five years old?!?!
-Nope, not even then.
-Oh my gosh, Natali. I feel SO bad for you. That’s the saddest story you’ve ever told me.
We had these tacos from this taco truck and they were really disgusting, I mean no, the tortillas were gross, but the rice. Oh. My. Gosh. The rice! The rice was soooo good!!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness
Every single day, I hear a story about another religious leader, politician, "family foundation", etc. bashing gays. And recently I've found myself the target of rude and hateful behavior which, as far as I can tell, is based solely on the fact that I look like a lesbian. I try very hard not to be paranoid, I really do. But I walked out of a gas station a couple of weeks ago and an old man leaned out of his truck, shot me a look of disgust, and spat out, "hey dyke". Last week I was at the movies with friends, standing outside of the theater talking on the phone. As this middle-aged couple walked in, the woman stared me down. I mean staring straight at me, from 20 feet away. I stared right back but it didn't phase her. I said, "can I help you ma'am? I'm sorry, is there a problem?" and it didn't phase her. She even turned around to stare some more as they walked past. The look in her eyes told me she thought me to be a wretched, deplorable, waste of fucking space. In both situations, I got mad. I got mad because it feels like a better alternative than getting sad. Because these people have no right to judge - they know nothing about me. I know that and I try to hang on to that so it doesn't hurt. But the thing about strangers deciding they hate you is... it always hurts. It's a hurt that's damn near unbearable when I let myself think about how mild these instances were comparatively. All over the world, gay people have the will to live verbally and physically beat out of them.
The crusade to stifle the rights of homosexuals is awful. It's ridiculous. Infuriating, illogical, unjust, heartless. The people pushing so hard to defend oppressive laws and social attitudes have no reasonable basis for their argument, and they are treating an intrinsically personal matter like a faceless political issue that doesn't affect real people. They treat myself and the rest of my community like we are less-than. Like somehow we have no right to pursue a happy life because we don't agree with their religious stance on one issue.
And that's exactly what it is: a religious stance. Why are religious people so quick to forget about separation of church and state? Do they not realize they're spitting in the face of the very concept that allows them to freely believe what they believe?! Marriage equality, for example. Religious beliefs should have zero bearing on government-issued marriage licenses. Legal marriage and religious marriage are separate concepts that serve entirely different purposes. Why do people find this so easy to overlook? This is why you are required to get a marriage license at the courthouse, and then can have a pastor perform a marriage ceremony if you choose. The government is saying, "ok, you two want to be treated like a single entity. You will pay your taxes together, you will have the right to make legal decisions for each other when necessary, your assets will be transferred to your partner in the event of death." That's it. The government does not claim to bless your union in front of god and everybody. It does not charge you to be fruitful and raise your children in the way of the lord. That's what religious marriage is for, and that alone is the institution over which the church has any authority.
All of this fighting and judgment is so exhausting. I'm angry, and I'm SO tired of being angry. And I'm sad. Because sometimes I can see and feel so much hatred from perfect strangers. Because my parents love me but they don't understand. Because there are people who will live their entire lives in the closet and completely miserable, and people who will spend their entire lives hating for no reason... and completely miserable. Because we're all people, and life is short, and there's really no point if we can't be kind to one another.
But I think mostly I'm sad because I know so many wonderful people who agree with me but don't do anything to help. I'm begging you to give a damn, even if this doesn't affect you personally. There are so many things you can do to help. Call your representatives and senators and tell them you support gay rights. Next time you hear someone talking about it, try to help them understand that gay rights are civil rights and there are good people being terribly hurt by all of this. Log on to www.hrc.org and sign petitions supporting marriage equality and workplace nondiscrimination acts. Things don't just change for the better, we have to band together and make it happen. Please, just care. I need you to care because today I feel defeated and somebody has to tell me they're fighting, too.
The crusade to stifle the rights of homosexuals is awful. It's ridiculous. Infuriating, illogical, unjust, heartless. The people pushing so hard to defend oppressive laws and social attitudes have no reasonable basis for their argument, and they are treating an intrinsically personal matter like a faceless political issue that doesn't affect real people. They treat myself and the rest of my community like we are less-than. Like somehow we have no right to pursue a happy life because we don't agree with their religious stance on one issue.
And that's exactly what it is: a religious stance. Why are religious people so quick to forget about separation of church and state? Do they not realize they're spitting in the face of the very concept that allows them to freely believe what they believe?! Marriage equality, for example. Religious beliefs should have zero bearing on government-issued marriage licenses. Legal marriage and religious marriage are separate concepts that serve entirely different purposes. Why do people find this so easy to overlook? This is why you are required to get a marriage license at the courthouse, and then can have a pastor perform a marriage ceremony if you choose. The government is saying, "ok, you two want to be treated like a single entity. You will pay your taxes together, you will have the right to make legal decisions for each other when necessary, your assets will be transferred to your partner in the event of death." That's it. The government does not claim to bless your union in front of god and everybody. It does not charge you to be fruitful and raise your children in the way of the lord. That's what religious marriage is for, and that alone is the institution over which the church has any authority.
All of this fighting and judgment is so exhausting. I'm angry, and I'm SO tired of being angry. And I'm sad. Because sometimes I can see and feel so much hatred from perfect strangers. Because my parents love me but they don't understand. Because there are people who will live their entire lives in the closet and completely miserable, and people who will spend their entire lives hating for no reason... and completely miserable. Because we're all people, and life is short, and there's really no point if we can't be kind to one another.
But I think mostly I'm sad because I know so many wonderful people who agree with me but don't do anything to help. I'm begging you to give a damn, even if this doesn't affect you personally. There are so many things you can do to help. Call your representatives and senators and tell them you support gay rights. Next time you hear someone talking about it, try to help them understand that gay rights are civil rights and there are good people being terribly hurt by all of this. Log on to www.hrc.org and sign petitions supporting marriage equality and workplace nondiscrimination acts. Things don't just change for the better, we have to band together and make it happen. Please, just care. I need you to care because today I feel defeated and somebody has to tell me they're fighting, too.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Blowin' In The Wind
One of my favorite things to do is stand outside and gaze into the sky when a storm is about to break... those few moments when you can feel everything all at once. The air is so heavy, pushing on you from every side, making you suddenly aware of how much space your physical self actually consumes. The clouds are rolling and dark, brooding, trembling, impatiently awaiting the moment they can let go - that climactic moment of release. Everything around you comes alive and is frantic. Birds are flapping wildly, insects are scurrying to higher ground, even the most domesticated of dogs senses the panic and whines anxiously. You stand there, exhilarated by impending doom, and wait. As the anticipation builds, you feel an inexplicable unity with nature. And when it finally breaks - when the temperature drops and the thunder claps and the rain comes pouring down? An overwhelming sense of calm.
I'm on the brink of a storm now. I start classes in a few weeks. I'm diving back into the college life... that life that's so full of classes and studying and working that there's no time for sleep. I don't know how I'm going to handle it, but I'm genuinely excited. Ecstatic, even! And I have an interview Monday that I really, really want to nail. I want this job, at this hospital, on this floor.
My life has been stagnant for the past few years. I knew I wasn't living up to my own expectations - all these dreams I had of growing up and really making a difference in the world. I'm a firm believer that the best thing you can do is figure out what you're good at, then find a way to use it to help people. That's what a good life consists of. Sitting behind a desk, preparing tax returns for multi-million dollar oil & gas companies was slowly killing me. By the time I quit, I was exhausted. I had no passion, no dreams, no idea what I wanted. I lived in my parents' basement for 6 months, becoming more depressed with each passing day. And I don't really know what got into me, but one day I just got up and moved back to Tulsa. I enrolled in a CNA course, got my license, started applying for jobs, and enrolled in classes. So here I am, waiting for it all to begin. I really do feel like my insides are trembling and I'm so full of emotion I'm going to burst.
For now, I'm happy. And I have this energy that I can't seem to harness, can't really channel into something useful. I'm working on it. I'm finding causes that really matter to me...more on that later. But while I'm ready for the stability and peace routine brings, I sincerely hope that I experience this feeling several times over in my life. The edge of big change is a terrifying place to stand, but it's important for self-realization. I've discovered that the thing I'm most excited about in all of this is the fact that I'm starting over. I'm entering a world where nobody knows me. I can be whoever I want to be.
Bring it on.
I'm on the brink of a storm now. I start classes in a few weeks. I'm diving back into the college life... that life that's so full of classes and studying and working that there's no time for sleep. I don't know how I'm going to handle it, but I'm genuinely excited. Ecstatic, even! And I have an interview Monday that I really, really want to nail. I want this job, at this hospital, on this floor.
My life has been stagnant for the past few years. I knew I wasn't living up to my own expectations - all these dreams I had of growing up and really making a difference in the world. I'm a firm believer that the best thing you can do is figure out what you're good at, then find a way to use it to help people. That's what a good life consists of. Sitting behind a desk, preparing tax returns for multi-million dollar oil & gas companies was slowly killing me. By the time I quit, I was exhausted. I had no passion, no dreams, no idea what I wanted. I lived in my parents' basement for 6 months, becoming more depressed with each passing day. And I don't really know what got into me, but one day I just got up and moved back to Tulsa. I enrolled in a CNA course, got my license, started applying for jobs, and enrolled in classes. So here I am, waiting for it all to begin. I really do feel like my insides are trembling and I'm so full of emotion I'm going to burst.
For now, I'm happy. And I have this energy that I can't seem to harness, can't really channel into something useful. I'm working on it. I'm finding causes that really matter to me...more on that later. But while I'm ready for the stability and peace routine brings, I sincerely hope that I experience this feeling several times over in my life. The edge of big change is a terrifying place to stand, but it's important for self-realization. I've discovered that the thing I'm most excited about in all of this is the fact that I'm starting over. I'm entering a world where nobody knows me. I can be whoever I want to be.
Bring it on.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
April Recap
So much has happened since I last posted...therefore, this will be a jumble. I shall recap many things, and offer my completely irrelevant commentary on some recent newsworthy events. Here goes...
My move to Tulsa - unlike many things I said I was going to do in the past 6 months or so - actually happened. I completed a two-week course and state board exam, so I am a licensed CNA now. I've put in an application where I really want to work, and if I don't hear from them by the end of the week I'll submit a few more. This summer will (hopefully) be consumed with hospital night shifts and classes in Biology, Anatomy & Physiology, and Chemistry. I'm excited. :)
Also, my arm is permanently adorned with a fantastic piece of artwork. I've been planning it for awhile. It is a representation of the personal growth I've experienced in the last year, the strength it took for me to embrace everything that makes me who I am and cast off long-held shame and fear, the importance of branching (forgive the pun) into new experiences and ideas, and a reminder that life is always changing. The bird is an homage to a very dear friend. Marcus had a brambling bird on his right forearm - a beautiful purple and turquoise bird that he was so proud of. When he passed away, several of us took comfort in one of his favorite Iron & Wine songs, Upward Over The Mountain. When I think of him, I envision him soaring over breath-taking landscapes, euphoric. I'm indescribably proud to wear a reminder of everything he stood for, and the profound impact he had on so many.
What else...? Oh, yes. I've been dating. What a disaster, hahaha. Shall I share a few of examples of things that are inappropriate for a first date? I shall! A) Don't ask when I'm going to kiss you! First, you're assuming a kiss is inevitable, when it is simply optional. Second, the first date kiss-or-not-to-kiss conundrum is uncomfortable enough...drawing attention to something that's already awkward promotes it to unbearably awkward. Ugh. B) Do not invite me to an outing with all your friends that is occurring SIX WEEKS in the future. Not in the middle of a first date. You're forcing me to figure out how to say something terrible like, "Actually...I don't think this is going well and I don't want to see you again" while we're still waiting for our meals to get to the table. Geez. C) If you're a crazy pill-popper, at least try to act sane for two hours. I guess it's good we got that out of the way so quickly, but you weren't getting a second date anyway. In the future, don't tell your "I took all this Xanax and really wanted a cheeseburger, so I drove to Whataburger and rear-ended a guy in line and went to jail" story right out of the gate, okay? D) Don't wear the clothes you lie around your house in, unless they happen to be - at the least - nice jeans and a semi-cute shirt. Windpants, an Eskimo Joe's t-shirt, and a visible sports bra are NOT OKAY. Actually, that was just plain offensive. I straightened my hair for you, asshole. E) Show up. Standing someone up because you didn't have the heart to tell them no when they asked is awful. Standing someone up when YOU asked them is unforgivable. Especially if you run into them two days later and pretend you have no idea who they are rather than having the decency to make up a bullshit story about why you missed it and couldn't call. Well, anyway... I'm not as frustrated as I sound, I'm not pursuing anything at the moment. The crazies just keep asking me out. I guess I need to work on spotting insanity more efficiently. :)
I had a few meaningful thoughts to share about the death of Bin Laden, DADT repeal, the whole DOMA hullabaloo, the advancement of the "Don't Say Gay" bill in TN, etc. But this has gotten really long and I think those issues deserve to be discussed separately from first-date horror stories.
Until next time, I recommend you purchase and read Slaughterhouse-Five. In one sitting. Now.
My move to Tulsa - unlike many things I said I was going to do in the past 6 months or so - actually happened. I completed a two-week course and state board exam, so I am a licensed CNA now. I've put in an application where I really want to work, and if I don't hear from them by the end of the week I'll submit a few more. This summer will (hopefully) be consumed with hospital night shifts and classes in Biology, Anatomy & Physiology, and Chemistry. I'm excited. :)
What else...? Oh, yes. I've been dating. What a disaster, hahaha. Shall I share a few of examples of things that are inappropriate for a first date? I shall! A) Don't ask when I'm going to kiss you! First, you're assuming a kiss is inevitable, when it is simply optional. Second, the first date kiss-or-not-to-kiss conundrum is uncomfortable enough...drawing attention to something that's already awkward promotes it to unbearably awkward. Ugh. B) Do not invite me to an outing with all your friends that is occurring SIX WEEKS in the future. Not in the middle of a first date. You're forcing me to figure out how to say something terrible like, "Actually...I don't think this is going well and I don't want to see you again" while we're still waiting for our meals to get to the table. Geez. C) If you're a crazy pill-popper, at least try to act sane for two hours. I guess it's good we got that out of the way so quickly, but you weren't getting a second date anyway. In the future, don't tell your "I took all this Xanax and really wanted a cheeseburger, so I drove to Whataburger and rear-ended a guy in line and went to jail" story right out of the gate, okay? D) Don't wear the clothes you lie around your house in, unless they happen to be - at the least - nice jeans and a semi-cute shirt. Windpants, an Eskimo Joe's t-shirt, and a visible sports bra are NOT OKAY. Actually, that was just plain offensive. I straightened my hair for you, asshole. E) Show up. Standing someone up because you didn't have the heart to tell them no when they asked is awful. Standing someone up when YOU asked them is unforgivable. Especially if you run into them two days later and pretend you have no idea who they are rather than having the decency to make up a bullshit story about why you missed it and couldn't call. Well, anyway... I'm not as frustrated as I sound, I'm not pursuing anything at the moment. The crazies just keep asking me out. I guess I need to work on spotting insanity more efficiently. :)
I had a few meaningful thoughts to share about the death of Bin Laden, DADT repeal, the whole DOMA hullabaloo, the advancement of the "Don't Say Gay" bill in TN, etc. But this has gotten really long and I think those issues deserve to be discussed separately from first-date horror stories.
Until next time, I recommend you purchase and read Slaughterhouse-Five. In one sitting. Now.
"I have told my sons that they are not under any circumstances to take part in massacres, and that the massacre of enemies is not to fill them with satisfaction or glee."
Thursday, April 14, 2011
People Will Surprise You
Two posts in three days... everybody freak out! I had such a fantastic day, I couldn't help but share. First, I slept until 11:30. I love sleeping in. Then I went to Megan's house to spend some time with her, Gracie, and Anderson. We sat outside and took pictures of Anderson smiling for awhile, then he fell asleep on my shoulder and I just held him. Taking a nap with a baby asleep on my chest is another thing I love. And I snapped this hilarious picture of him cracking up... Look at him! I love that his little jeans have a hammer loop, haha. He already knows that if you're going to chuckle, you should put your hand on your belly.
Before I left, I decided to gauge my ears out a little bit. Dustin shoved little plastic rods through my ear lobes and put in the punk-ass earrings I'm wearing now. Then I stopped for a 6-pack of Coors Light and headed to my grandpa's house.
I spent a lot of time with Papa - my mom's dad - as a kid, and we were always really close. We talked every Sunday throughout my entire college career, and he called to check on my every two weeks or so after I moved to Tulsa. We hadn't spent much time together recently, so we planned to spend the whole evening together. He threw burgers on the grill, we had a couple beers, played rummy, and caught up. I knew before I went that I needed to tell him that I'm gay, and I knew he would be fine with it. But I wasn't sure if it would be "I'm so proud of you for being honest about who you are!" or "I don't agree with this but I love you anyway" or somewhere in between. And that small chance that someone very dear to you might say they think there's something wrong with you is a thousand times more terrifying than the prospect of getting your ass kicked by some redneck for being "one o' them damn queers".
So, after beer and cards and talking about his horses for a couple of hours, I decided to just say it. It took at least 15 minutes for me to force the words out of my mouth. "Papa, I have to tell you something... I'm gay. I just wanted you to hear it from me first." Panic. I can't adequately describe the few seconds before and after proclaiming for the first time that you're a raging homosexual, but it's horrible. I think it's what a heart attack feels like. But then, relief. He looked at me and said, "I love you, honey. It don't matter to me at all." I cried. We had an excellent conversation.
He told me that he doesn't think the gays have a choice about it one way or another, and everybody has their own feelings and as long as they're happy, they don't need to pay attention to what anybody else has to say. We talked about how dangerous it is to take the Bible literally, forgetting that it's been translated and interpreted so many times by so many men that we don't know exactly what the original text says. He said he "reckons that Southern Baptists are the most hypocritical bunch" he's ever encountered. We reminisced about my childhood and he said he understood now why I was always so hard on myself, and he wishes I'd been more comfortable in my own skin. He told me a story about this time he went to a bar with his friends and all the ladies ended up dancing with a gay man there, and he'd never laughed so hard in his life. He reminded me that all people need from each other is a little kindness and understanding. He asked me if I had anybody special in my life... something I've wished my mom would ask me since I came out to her. I told him I dated someone for a few months, but it's over now. He asked, "did you get yourself a little bit of a broken heart?" And we talked about how much it hurts - especially that first one. He offered advice on dating, love, marriage... He asked me if he'll get any great-grandkids out of me.
Before I left, with tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said he'd always been proud of me and always will be. I cried again, hugged him, drove away, and realized that this has been one of the most precious days of my life.
Goodnight everybody. I hope all of us have a Thursday that is even half as great as my Wednesday was!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Miscellaneous
Just a list of random crap, because I was going to post about something serious and it sounded too... emotional. It's not something I feel emotional about right now, but it still sounded depressing. So, random crap it is. Just to make me feel like I'm not letting down all my devoted followers. Ha.
- Sign on the corner of 11th & Lewis (verbatim):
FOUND:
large catahoula mix
wearing a...
T-SHIRT
- I am asked if I work wherever I happen to be shopping ALL THE TIME. I've never considered myself to have a particularly inviting appearance - especially when I'm shopping - but apparently I'm a beacon of hope for lost souls everywhere. I was wearing gym shorts and smelling laundry detergent at Family Dollar the other day when an old man said, "hey, 'scuse me, but uh, you work here, right?" But the best no-I'm-not-an-employee story I have... At Target, wearing a black hoodie and trying to get a bookshelf into my cart, I was asked by a very polite Indian man where to find "the hand-held machines that vibrate. My wife would really like one for her birthday." He was confused, I was confused and embarrassed, and his teenage daughters were absolutely mortified. I was concerned that the situation would be unbearably awkward if he asked one of the teenagers working there so I helped him. Turns out, she wanted a neck massager. Thank Brahman.
- My unused Continental Airlines miles inexplicably entitle me to two free magazine subscriptions. Of course, none of my options are anything I'd ever pay for, but since it's free... After marking out everything I've never heard of, I'm left with Cosmopolitan, GQ, and The Economist. Five points for anybody who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt which of those I would least enjoy.
- I have a ticket for The National at Cain's Ballroom next Tuesday. Currently my most prized possession. I've listened to nothing else the past few days, and I've fallen even more in love. Music like this tricks me into thinking I can be poetic...and instills within me an intense craving for a glass of whiskey.
- I’m still enjoying (read: stalking) the blog I mentioned awhile back that I stumbled upon by searching “OBU Pride”. I don’t usually feel creepy when I read a stranger’s blog, but there’s something about this guy graduating from my alma mater a few years before me that makes me feel odd about it. And I am thus far undeterred.
- I've recently come to terms with the fact that I am a hyper-emotional, hyper-sentimental, hyper-sensitive nutcase. Many of you already know this. Thank you for pretending not to notice.
- The personality differences between my two youngest sisters are hysterical. Case in point: I took them to McDonald's today. As soon as we finish ordering, Gracie exclaims, "let's sit at a tall table!!!", runs to said tall table, and starts spinning around in the chair. Marissa - approaching the soda fountain in her typical laid-back gait - calmy says, "that's fine Gracie, but we're in a hurry, so the swivel-chair can't distract you from eating your dinner." They're absolutely perfect. :)
I think that does it. I will leave you with a song from The National for the STD... I've chosen this one because I have been feeling more confident in the past two weeks than I ever have in my life. Has anyone ever noticed that being rejected forces you to get a little conceited? That's what I was going to blog about, actually... I think you have to build yourself back up. It helps to have friends who are willing to toss compliments at you like crazy, too. :) You guys are the best.
I'm put together beautifully
Big wet bottle in my fist, big wet rose in my teeth
I'm a perfect piece of ass, like every Californian
So tall I take over the street
With high-beams shining up my back
Wingspan unbelievable
I'm a festival, I'm a parade
I'M SO SORRY BUT THE MOTORCADE WILL HAVE TO GO AROUND ME THIS TIME!
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