April Recap

So much has happened since I last posted...therefore, this will be a jumble. I shall recap many things, and offer my completely irrelevant commentary on some recent newsworthy events. Here goes...

My move to Tulsa - unlike many things I said I was going to do in the past 6 months or so - actually happened. I completed a two-week course and state board exam, so I am a licensed CNA now. I've put in an application where I really want to work, and if I don't hear from them by the end of the week I'll submit a few more. This summer will (hopefully) be consumed with hospital night shifts and classes in Biology, Anatomy & Physiology, and Chemistry. I'm excited. :)

Also, my arm is permanently adorned with a fantastic piece of artwork. I've been planning it for awhile. It is a representation of the personal growth I've experienced in the last year, the strength it took for me to embrace everything that makes me who I am and cast off long-held shame and fear, the importance of branching (forgive the pun) into new experiences and ideas, and a reminder that life is always changing. The bird is an homage to a very dear friend. Marcus had a brambling bird on his right forearm - a beautiful purple and turquoise bird that he was so proud of. When he passed away, several of us took comfort in one of his favorite Iron & Wine songs, Upward Over The Mountain. When I think of him, I envision him soaring over breath-taking landscapes, euphoric. I'm indescribably proud to wear a reminder of everything he stood for, and the profound impact he had on so many.

What else...? Oh, yes. I've been dating. What a disaster, hahaha. Shall I share a few of examples of things that are inappropriate for a first date? I shall! A) Don't ask when I'm going to kiss you! First, you're assuming a kiss is inevitable, when it is simply optional. Second, the first date kiss-or-not-to-kiss conundrum is uncomfortable enough...drawing attention to something that's already awkward promotes it to unbearably awkward. Ugh. B) Do not invite me to an outing with all your friends that is occurring SIX WEEKS in the future. Not in the middle of a first date. You're forcing me to figure out how to say something terrible like, "Actually...I don't think this is going well and I don't want to see you again" while we're still waiting for our meals to get to the table. Geez. C) If you're a crazy pill-popper, at least try to act sane for two hours. I guess it's good we got that out of the way so quickly, but you weren't getting a second date anyway. In the future, don't tell your "I took all this Xanax and really wanted a cheeseburger, so I drove to Whataburger and rear-ended a guy in line and went to jail" story right out of the gate, okay? D) Don't wear the clothes you lie around your house in, unless they happen to be - at the least - nice jeans and a semi-cute shirt. Windpants, an Eskimo Joe's t-shirt, and a visible sports bra are NOT OKAY. Actually, that was just plain offensive. I straightened my hair for you, asshole. E) Show up. Standing someone up because you didn't have the heart to tell them no when they asked is awful. Standing someone up when YOU asked them is unforgivable. Especially if you run into them two days later and pretend you have no idea who they are rather than having the decency to make up a bullshit story about why you missed it and couldn't call. Well, anyway... I'm not as frustrated as I sound, I'm not pursuing anything at the moment. The crazies just keep asking me out. I guess I need to work on spotting insanity more efficiently. :)

I had a few meaningful thoughts to share about the death of Bin Laden, DADT repeal, the whole DOMA hullabaloo, the advancement of the "Don't Say Gay" bill in TN, etc. But this has gotten really long and I think those issues deserve to be discussed separately from first-date horror stories.

Until next time, I recommend you purchase and read Slaughterhouse-Five. In one sitting. Now.

"I have told my sons that they are not under any circumstances to take part in massacres, and that the massacre of enemies is not to fill them with satisfaction or glee."