Being a student again SUCKS. I had this elaborate vision of walking around campus in my chucks and faux-Buddy Holly glasses, carrying my North Face bag and pumping indie tunes through my headphones. I was gonna strut through the student union, lookin' all fly and shit, while girls swooned and boys got jealous. And every once in awhile, I supposed I'd stop in for a lecture and learn some big words I could use to impress people.
Well. There's nothing cute about trying to get to class by 8 a.m. And I'm going to a community college... the student union is tiny and ugly and empty, and it's nowhere near the science building. "Impressive" isn't the adjective I'd use to describe myself mumbling anatomical terms and chemical formulas to myself like a schizophrenic. But I've got the chucks and Buddy Holly glasses down. And there are some cute girls in my glass who find me intriguing at the very least. I'm over the whole studying and doing homework all the time thing, though. I have sooooo many more classes to take. Ugh.
Ok, I'm done complaining. I finally started my job at the hospital, and I freaking LOVE it! You guys, my patients adore me. Seriously. And the real nurses actually depend on me for shit. I've never felt so useful in my life. I rush around taking vitals, refilling water pitchers, testing blood sugars, rolling patients around in their beds to clean poop off of them, emptying catheter bags, getting coughed and spit and puked on, running errands, calming families down... for 12 hours. And I swear to you, I have a grin on my face the whole damn time. Despite being broke and flinging myself into the throes of debt, I will never regret leaving accounting. NEVER! When I think about my old job, this really dramatic voice (in my head) screams "GIVE ME FREEDOM OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!"
So anyway. That's what I've been up to.
I think my next post will be about dancing and dating.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Gracie-isms
I’d been keeping a list of Gracie quotes awhile ago… I opened it up for a study break and thought I’d just go ahead and publish it for the enjoyment of my relatives who read the blog. If you haven’t met Gracie, you’ve missed out. She’s 5 years old, bossy, hyper, and hilarious. Enjoy!
Natali, is it true that deals are made to be broken?
-Fruit Loops. Hmm. Marissa, would you still eat this cereal if it was just called “fruit”?
-Uh, yeah.
-What if it was called “fruits and vegetables”?
-I don’t want to go to gymnastics tonight.
-Why not? You love to jump and do flips! You’ll get to jump on the trampoline!
-Yeah, but when I got to class I have to do what the teacher says. And that’s not fun for anyone.
Twenty-five?!?!?!? Natali, you were born before EVERYBODY!!!!!
I’m not up to nothin’, ha. Wearing my pink and white cowboy boots, ha. Welp. I’m going downstairs.
I do not like Justin Beiber. He sings like a little girl and he is NOT GOOD.
What if I farted that loud? It would be louder than the whole world! Maybe even louder than DAD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It would be so gross if I farted like a manly man!
Stated matter-of-factly after I explained that we call sponges because they are modeled after sea sponges and function the same way, and people (like her) who notice and remember everything that happens around them are sponges because they “soak up” everything: I want to be a sponge. A sponge named Squarepants.
-Natali, will you go upstairs and get my water?
-No, you can go get it.
-Puh-lease?! I’m pretty much so thirsty I’m gonna pass out!
-Then Cloee said, “we have a passed out one” or something! Hahahahaha!
-No. I said, “man down”.
Natali, why do you always wear those shirts with buttons on them? I like my shirts better because they’re pretty much just easier to put on.
Have you ever seen me drink with my left hand? That would be really hard and pretty cool. Watch, I’m gonna try it!
Um, we might have to tell daddy when he gets home that my light burned out, because I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who knows how to change it. Ugh, I’m so mad at my light. And I don’t even know if we have any more light bulbs.
We already counted backwards like 100 times, don’t they know how to do it by now?! Oh my gosh, Mickey and Goofy are so stupid! I’m not helping them do it again.
Natali, you kinda look like a boy, but you’re the best sister anyone could ever have! Don’t tell Megan I said that, though… the other day I told her she’s the best.
-I did cartwheels the whole time!
-That sounds fun. I’ve never been able to do a cartwheel.
-What?! Not even when you were five years old?!?!
-Nope, not even then.
-Oh my gosh, Natali. I feel SO bad for you. That’s the saddest story you’ve ever told me.
We had these tacos from this taco truck and they were really disgusting, I mean no, the tortillas were gross, but the rice. Oh. My. Gosh. The rice! The rice was soooo good!!!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness
Every single day, I hear a story about another religious leader, politician, "family foundation", etc. bashing gays. And recently I've found myself the target of rude and hateful behavior which, as far as I can tell, is based solely on the fact that I look like a lesbian. I try very hard not to be paranoid, I really do. But I walked out of a gas station a couple of weeks ago and an old man leaned out of his truck, shot me a look of disgust, and spat out, "hey dyke". Last week I was at the movies with friends, standing outside of the theater talking on the phone. As this middle-aged couple walked in, the woman stared me down. I mean staring straight at me, from 20 feet away. I stared right back but it didn't phase her. I said, "can I help you ma'am? I'm sorry, is there a problem?" and it didn't phase her. She even turned around to stare some more as they walked past. The look in her eyes told me she thought me to be a wretched, deplorable, waste of fucking space. In both situations, I got mad. I got mad because it feels like a better alternative than getting sad. Because these people have no right to judge - they know nothing about me. I know that and I try to hang on to that so it doesn't hurt. But the thing about strangers deciding they hate you is... it always hurts. It's a hurt that's damn near unbearable when I let myself think about how mild these instances were comparatively. All over the world, gay people have the will to live verbally and physically beat out of them.
The crusade to stifle the rights of homosexuals is awful. It's ridiculous. Infuriating, illogical, unjust, heartless. The people pushing so hard to defend oppressive laws and social attitudes have no reasonable basis for their argument, and they are treating an intrinsically personal matter like a faceless political issue that doesn't affect real people. They treat myself and the rest of my community like we are less-than. Like somehow we have no right to pursue a happy life because we don't agree with their religious stance on one issue.
And that's exactly what it is: a religious stance. Why are religious people so quick to forget about separation of church and state? Do they not realize they're spitting in the face of the very concept that allows them to freely believe what they believe?! Marriage equality, for example. Religious beliefs should have zero bearing on government-issued marriage licenses. Legal marriage and religious marriage are separate concepts that serve entirely different purposes. Why do people find this so easy to overlook? This is why you are required to get a marriage license at the courthouse, and then can have a pastor perform a marriage ceremony if you choose. The government is saying, "ok, you two want to be treated like a single entity. You will pay your taxes together, you will have the right to make legal decisions for each other when necessary, your assets will be transferred to your partner in the event of death." That's it. The government does not claim to bless your union in front of god and everybody. It does not charge you to be fruitful and raise your children in the way of the lord. That's what religious marriage is for, and that alone is the institution over which the church has any authority.
All of this fighting and judgment is so exhausting. I'm angry, and I'm SO tired of being angry. And I'm sad. Because sometimes I can see and feel so much hatred from perfect strangers. Because my parents love me but they don't understand. Because there are people who will live their entire lives in the closet and completely miserable, and people who will spend their entire lives hating for no reason... and completely miserable. Because we're all people, and life is short, and there's really no point if we can't be kind to one another.
But I think mostly I'm sad because I know so many wonderful people who agree with me but don't do anything to help. I'm begging you to give a damn, even if this doesn't affect you personally. There are so many things you can do to help. Call your representatives and senators and tell them you support gay rights. Next time you hear someone talking about it, try to help them understand that gay rights are civil rights and there are good people being terribly hurt by all of this. Log on to www.hrc.org and sign petitions supporting marriage equality and workplace nondiscrimination acts. Things don't just change for the better, we have to band together and make it happen. Please, just care. I need you to care because today I feel defeated and somebody has to tell me they're fighting, too.
The crusade to stifle the rights of homosexuals is awful. It's ridiculous. Infuriating, illogical, unjust, heartless. The people pushing so hard to defend oppressive laws and social attitudes have no reasonable basis for their argument, and they are treating an intrinsically personal matter like a faceless political issue that doesn't affect real people. They treat myself and the rest of my community like we are less-than. Like somehow we have no right to pursue a happy life because we don't agree with their religious stance on one issue.
And that's exactly what it is: a religious stance. Why are religious people so quick to forget about separation of church and state? Do they not realize they're spitting in the face of the very concept that allows them to freely believe what they believe?! Marriage equality, for example. Religious beliefs should have zero bearing on government-issued marriage licenses. Legal marriage and religious marriage are separate concepts that serve entirely different purposes. Why do people find this so easy to overlook? This is why you are required to get a marriage license at the courthouse, and then can have a pastor perform a marriage ceremony if you choose. The government is saying, "ok, you two want to be treated like a single entity. You will pay your taxes together, you will have the right to make legal decisions for each other when necessary, your assets will be transferred to your partner in the event of death." That's it. The government does not claim to bless your union in front of god and everybody. It does not charge you to be fruitful and raise your children in the way of the lord. That's what religious marriage is for, and that alone is the institution over which the church has any authority.
All of this fighting and judgment is so exhausting. I'm angry, and I'm SO tired of being angry. And I'm sad. Because sometimes I can see and feel so much hatred from perfect strangers. Because my parents love me but they don't understand. Because there are people who will live their entire lives in the closet and completely miserable, and people who will spend their entire lives hating for no reason... and completely miserable. Because we're all people, and life is short, and there's really no point if we can't be kind to one another.
But I think mostly I'm sad because I know so many wonderful people who agree with me but don't do anything to help. I'm begging you to give a damn, even if this doesn't affect you personally. There are so many things you can do to help. Call your representatives and senators and tell them you support gay rights. Next time you hear someone talking about it, try to help them understand that gay rights are civil rights and there are good people being terribly hurt by all of this. Log on to www.hrc.org and sign petitions supporting marriage equality and workplace nondiscrimination acts. Things don't just change for the better, we have to band together and make it happen. Please, just care. I need you to care because today I feel defeated and somebody has to tell me they're fighting, too.
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