- Hi, it's Natali Estes. I'm not going to make it in tonight.
- Um.... hang on. Let me pull up the schedule. Oh. Yeah, Natalia. Ok.
- I'm really sorry, I've just had a pretty high fever all day.
- It's ok, hon. You're just on orientation anyway. Take care.
So that was great. I'm inconsequential. And it's Natali. If my name were Natalia, I would have said that. The fact that I'm a lowly assistant does not mean I can't pronounce my own damn name.
Obviously, all I want to do when I'm sick is whine. I want somebody to bring me soup and feel sorry for me and run their fingers through my hair and watch a movie with me and not get mad when I gripe about everything. But alas, I'm left to my own devices. I went to Walgreen's for medicine and ended up buying a box of Snickers ice cream bars because I feel terrible and I deserve something good. Right? I know I'm not the only one who does this. I'm going to have to break down and go to the doctor tomorrow. I threw up on the floor. Let me say that again: I threw up. On. The. Floor. And I peed my pants during a particularly long coughing fit. I need help.
The only reason I'm writing this post is because I need to study for an Anatomy exam and I really don't want to start. Since I'm here though, let's talk about Ambien. I've always had trouble sleeping. I've tried OTC pills, "natural" remedies, meditation, therapist-recommended relaxation techniques... Marijuana actually works really well, but of course that's illegal. And I would never do anything illegal. Anyway. Last year my doctor wrote me a prescription for Ambien. I've taken it five times and freaked the hell out three of those times. Once I thought the paint on my walls was melting and would certainly drown me. Another time I called my friend, crying hysterically, because I thought I was turning into a wolf.
It also causes short-term memory loss, so I have no recollection. I check my call logs, texts, and browsing history the next morning and attempt to make all the necessary apologies and explanations. Tripped-out Natali is getting tricky, though - last night I deleted all the texts I sent. So if you got one from me between 11 and midnight and thought I was on drugs... you were right. Sorry.
I vaguely remember deciding I should have some ice cream. I walked to the kitchen naked. I'm pretty certain I was high-stepping for some reason. And my head felt like jell-o. I decided if I ever made it back to my bed, I'd never leave. Then - according to my browsing history - I watched YouTube break-dancing tutorials for about an hour. (?!)
Why do I keep taking it, you ask? Here's the thing with me and sleep. I'm like a meth addict. I don't sleep for a couple of days. Then I sleep 3 hours a night for a week or two. Then I don't sleep again for a day. And then? I crash. I crash hard. I can sleep an entire weekend, waking only once a day to pee. So, I use Ambien to make the cycle less drastic. I take one, flip out, then sleep like a rock for 14 hours. It's really unhealthy, potentially habit-forming, and I learned today that it studies have shown it to cause people to have sex in their sleep. I don't like it.
In conclusion: I'm sick. I'm whiny. I may know how to break-dance soon. And if you have any suggestions on falling asleep, pleeeeeease pass them along.
1 comment:
Poor thing! Yep ambien can cause you to do some crazy things, some people even drive and don't remember, so maybe you shouldn't take it anymore. Here's some others that can help with sleep (maybe you've tried some or all) trazodone; restoril; remeron; seroquel; lunesta; melatonin. Those meds aren't all for sleep, but have been known to make people sleepy, but also have their own side effects so it's sometimes a catch 22. Hope that can be of some help. I'll also email you some behavioral strategies, which you also may have tried, if I can find it tomorrow. Whew that was long. Hope you feel better soon and get some safe sleep :)
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